If you’re one of the millions of Americans taking care of children and older family members at the same time — while also juggling a career — you know what it means to be part of the “sandwich generation.” The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) reports that 4.5 million Americans are members of this group, which refers to being sandwiched between two generations that need care. Most sandwich-generation caregivers are women who are parenting children under the age of 18 while also caring for one or both of their parents. The majority also have jobs.
While many caregivers call their role rewarding, they also acknowledge how tough and time-consuming it can be, and how it can lead them to overlook their own health and well-being. November is National Family Caregivers Month, a time to honor those who serve as caregivers and to reflect on how you can support the caregivers in your life — or, if you’re the caregiver, how to ask for help from those around you.
Caregiving Tasks
According to the BLS, close to half of caregivers for older adult family members provide care several times a week, and almost a quarter provide care every day.
- Some of the tasks caregivers typically perform include:
- Attending doctor’s appointments and serving as their loved one’s advocate
- Making trips to the grocery store and pharmacy, and running other errands
- Providing help with bathing, dressing, and grooming
- Spending time with their loved ones and providing emotional support
Caregivers also often perform complex medical tasks, like wound care and medication management.
Three Helpful Tips
Nearly a third of sandwich-generation caregivers report feeling a high level of emotional stress, according to the National Alliance for Caregiving, and many feel compelled to cut back on work hours to handle the strains that accompany caring for two generations. Not surprisingly, 85% also say they need more information on topics related to caregiving, including how to manage stress.
If you’re a sandwich caregiver, here are three tips to help you cope:
1. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
It’s not a sign of weakness to ask for help when you need it. Recognize your limits and accept offers to help when they come. If your older son can cut your mom’s grass, let him. If your friend says she’s going to the grocery store and can pick up a few items for your dad while she’s there, tell her you’d appreciate it. Just getting a few tasks off your to-do list can help you feel lighter and more able to handle your caregiving responsibilities.
2. Take time to recharge.
Acting as a sandwich caregiver is a role fraught with demands on your time and energy. It can be easy to push your own needs to the side as you care for those dependent on you. Still, it’s vital to prioritize yourself from time to time. Give yourself an afternoon off to catch up on your own medical or self-care appointments. And don’t feel guilty when you do. If you aren’t healthy, you can’t care for others.
3. Remember this isn’t forever.
While it may feel like it’s going to last an eternity, caregiving is a season. Your children will grow, your mom or dad will one day no longer be around, and you will have time once again to focus on yourself. Until then, keep that thought in mind as you navigate the tough days. And remind yourself that it’s likely you’ll one day miss this time you had with your loved ones.
Find more caregiver resources, including information about assistance options like home health care.