Published: March 10, 2025
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As caregivers, we want to do everything in our power to support our loved ones. So, when your loved one suddenly stops eating and drinking, it’s only natural you’d be concerned — and sometimes even feel a bit helpless. But understanding these two important things can give you some much-needed peace: Not wanting to eat or drink toward the end of life is normal, and you should honor their wishes.
Understanding the biology can help
While it may seem like your loved one is giving up or even trying to speed up the process of dying, this usually isn’t the case. Rather, at the end of a person’s life, their bodily functions slow down as their organs begin to shut down. And that leaves very little need for nutrition.
We know it’s hard not to worry. But your loved one isn’t suffering by not eating. Before this stage, you’ve likely already noticed a decrease in their appetite or a desire for softer foods. This progression is normal. It’s the body’s way of diverting all its energy toward the act of dying.
Hospice patients typically need less and less food over time for a variety of reasons:
- Bodily functions slow at the end of life.
- Organs require much less energy from food as they begin to shut down.
- The body loses the ability to absorb nutrition as the digestive system slows.
A word on forced nutrition
You may be tempted to ensure your loved one is nourished through a feeding tube or an IV, but this can cause problems and even hasten their death. In fact, according to a study published by the National Institutes of Health, artificial nutrition was shown to increase the risk of choking, infection, vomiting, abdominal pain, and a host of other issues.
Remember, an important aspect of hospice care is to allow the patient to choose how they want to spend the time they have left. For some patients, choosing to not eat — and perhaps end their struggles with swallowing, nausea, and vomiting — is included in their advance directive. It can be a way for them to exert some control over their situation. Honoring their wishes may be the best way you can care for them.r, and hospice team members to manage expectations and minimize misunderstandings is vital.
How the body reacts at the end of life
Many factors determine how long the human body can live without food or water. A few of these factors include the patient’s current state of hydration and the impact their illness has already had on their body.
Some hospice patients die within a few days. Others live for several more weeks. However, in general, most patients reach the end of life within 10 days of not eating or drinking.
How caregivers can help
It’s extremely difficult to watch a person die but finding ways to offer them love and comfort can also be healing for you. We recommend:
- Applying lotion to their feet, legs, hands, and arms.
- Keeping their lips moist with lip balm.
- Offering a gentle massage if that’s something they’ve enjoyed in the past.
- Playing music at a low volume or singing to them.
- Providing oral care, if they need and want it, with the help of the hospice team.
- Rubbing a damp cloth along their forehead.
- Speaking gently to them. Continue conversations even if they don’t respond.
- Touching them lovingly. They feel your hands and may be aware of your presence even while sleeping.
For your own peace of mind, it’s important to remember that your loved one’s death is not caused by lack of nutrition toward the end; their illness is what caused their death. And while it can be hard to accept, their refusal to eat and drink is their choice. Try your best to focus on celebrating their life during the final weeks and lean on your hospice care team when you need a little extra support. We can help you and your loved one deal with the full range of feelings: anger, guilt, pain, sadness, and much more.
Our hospice professionals can offer care and support specific to nutrition and hydration for your loved one as death nears. Learn more about our services and submit a request form today.