Understanding Grief

August 30 is Grief Awareness Day — and we’re doing our part to create awareness around a topic that doesn’t always get the attention it deserves. After all, grief affects all of us at some point in our lives. That’s why we’re sharing strategies to help you navigate a season of grief or mourning.

What is grief?

Grief is a natural response to a loss, such as a death, a relationship, a job, a move, or your health. It can cause us to feel almost every human emotion, from profound sadness to extreme anger. But it’s important to remember that each of us will have a unique experience of grief. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, nor is there a timetable. How each of us processes our grief is a unique and personal journey.

What are the signs of grief?

People typically feel deep sadness or sorrow when they experience a loss. But reactions can vary from person to person and tend to be based on the type and timing of their loss.

According to the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO), common reactions to grief include:

• Anger. Loss is difficult, and it’s common to feel angry at the situation, a person, or in general.
• Disbelief. Losing a loved one can be shocking and may lead to a feeling of emptiness or numbness.
• Guilt. You may question if you could have done more to prevent the loss, or you may ruminate about the decisions you did or did not make.
• Loneliness. The death of a loved one changes your life, and you may feel a strong sense of their absence, as well as an urge to withdraw from family, friends, and regular activities.
• Physical issues. It isn’t just your mind that feels grief — your body does, too. You may experience confusion, dry mouth, fatigue, insomnia, nausea, trouble breathing, or changes in eating patterns.

What does grief feel like?

The experience of grief is different for every person. There is no one “right way” to grieve. For example, you may feel a deep sadness right away, or you may feel anger or shock. As time passes, your feelings may change, or you may feel multiple emotions at once.

The NHPCO has noted some important reminders about the experience of grief:

• Many factors affect the grieving process. Your experience may be affected by your age, culture, coping style, family background, maturity, personality, personal health, spiritual background, or many other life factors.
• Intense feelings are normal. After a loss, you may experience personality changes, including absent-mindedness, low energy, sadness, social withdrawal, or loss of interest. These changes are normal and usually pass with time.
• There is no timetable for grief. Grief does not follow a schedule. The length of time you spend grieving a loss will be unique to you and your situation.
• The intensity of your grief will lessen over time. While we are never truly done grieving, many people learn to adjust to living with their loss. The overwhelming feeling of fresh grief will often turn into a gentler “sweet sadness” over time.

What’s the best way to cope with grief?

Grief is challenging. Allow yourself to acknowledge your feelings and give yourself time to process them. Trying to distract yourself, ignore your emotions, or pretend you’re fine can backfire later. In fact, unresolved grief often leads to depression, anxiety, and other health issues.

As you work through your loss, try to:

• Be kind to your mind. Don’t judge yourself or feel like you should be “over” your grief. Give yourself permission to cry, yell, and even laugh.
• Care for yourself. Although you may not feel like doing it, it’s crucial to be intentional about self-care. Try to eat a healthy diet, stay physically active, spend time outdoors, and get sufficient sleep.
• Express yourself. Talk about what you’re feeling with family or friends, even if they don’t know what to say. It can help to have someone listen. You can also try journaling, writing a letter, or creating a memorial to honor the person you lost.

Compassionate Care When You Need It

Sources of support beyond family and friends, including spiritual leaders, grief counselors, and support groups can play an important role in your healing process. They can be valuable sources of empathy, perspective, and community. Even if you feel you’ve recovered from your grief, it doesn’t mean your feelings have disappeared forever. Anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, and other milestones may bring feelings of grief back to the surface.

It’s important to reach out when you need a little extra help. Learn more about grief or get professional support from the caring team at Traditions Health.